Deception
by mcgirl
Summary: Josh is having nightmares and he is not himself lately. Everyone is trying to help but he want let them help. This is formerly known as Hiding the Truth.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters from West Wing, NBC and other people on them, but not me.  
  
Summary: Josh has not been his normal self lately, but he will not tell anyone what is wrong with him.  
  
Info: I have not seen last seasons episodes of West Wing, so some of the stuff might be wrong, but a lot of this has to do with past episodes, especially the episode where Josh got shot. This is also my first West Wing fanfiction. Please read and review  
  
Donna knocked on Josh's door; she was very worried about him. It seemed like all he did was work lately. Josh looked up somewhat annoyed that someone was bothering him from his work. "What do you want," Josh said. "If you don't mind me asking if there is anything wrong with you. You have started working practically non stop the last few months," Donna said. "It is called work Donna, and I have to get this done soon, Josh said irritated. He did not want to tell anybody what was wrong and it was not anyone's business. "I'm sorry Donna, I am just a little bit stressed right now with all this work," Josh said. "Are you sure that is all Josh, if there is anything that I can do please let me know," Donna said. "I will, you go home, I'll go home in a few minutes, I just need to get this done," Josh said. She reluctantly left, even though she knew something was wrong with him. She was going to find out what was wrong with him, she knew Josh to well to know that nothing was wrong with him. She thought that maybe she should talk to Leo or Toby and ask if they knew anything about what was happening.  
Josh did not want anyone to know what was going on in his life. The truth was he had never gotten over the post traumatic stress disorder like everyone thought he did. He still had nightmares, but he was getting better until recently when it started coming back. The nightmares were becoming more vivid and every time he went to sleep he would have those nightmares. That is why he tried not to go to sleep, because he did not like to see those images, even in his waking hours he saw it. Work kept him occupied and busy so that he did not have time to think about that. He still wondered why he was not over this, it happened a few years ago, not a month ago.  
One thing he did not want was for people to pity him. It would be better if his friends did not know. He did not want his friends to say, "poor Josh, he really needs help." He could handle this on his own, like he had been doing for the last couple of years. He knew that they would never say this in front of him, but they might be saying it behind his back. Imagine if the press knew, he thought. They would have fun with that. He knew that he was not going to go home tonight. He just needed to work, finally he fell to sleep though but the nightmares kept coming back, like they always did.  
  
Concluding Info: Someone hears screams from Josh's office and rushes to see what is wrong. 


	2. Nightmare

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters from West Wing, NBC and other people on them, but not me.  
  
Summary: Josh has not been his normal self lately, but he will not tell anyone what is wrong with him.  
  
Episode Info: For those of you that do not know this takes place in the first season of The West Wing. The President's daughter Zoey and one of his assistants Charlie who was black were going out. Some people did not like this. The President had to go do a speech at Rosslyn and the speech went great. As they were coming out a group of white men started shooting. Zoey, and Charlie were not hurt and the majority of the senior staff was not hurt. Josh Lyman who is deputy chief of staff was shot in the chest though. It was really serious and he almost died. He later suffered from posttraumatic stress disorder in a few episodes in the second season. It was especially bad around Christmas. He finally got over it in the show though and is better now.  
  
Story Info; In my story he has never gotten over the shooting and still suffers from post traumatic stress disorder. It has gotten especially bad the last few months and no one has found out yet.  
  
Other Info: I have not watch West Wing in a while so I am not up to date on what has happened. Though this is mostly not based on the episodes that have been made recently but it does take time during next season. Please read and review.  
  
Josh's Office:  
Josh had been working at his office and had finally gone to sleep. He had not gone home in a while and had not gotten three hours of sleep all week. It was beginning to take a toll on him. He did not want to fall asleep because then the dreams would come back and they always came back. Nightmare  
They were walking out of the building at Rosslyn and everything seemed to be going fine. The President's speech had gone great and everyone was in a good mood. Suddenly they heard shots coming from an unknown direction. He saw people going down. Then he felt a pain in his chest and realized that he had been shot. There was blood everywhere. It hurt so much he knew that he was going to die. He did not want to die though he wanted to live so much. There were so many things that he had not done in life that he wanted to do. All he could do was wait and see what would happen. Josh's Office  
"No, no, no, I do not want to die, someone please help me" Josh said each time getting louder and louder. A security guard was checking to make sure that everything was ok in the Whitehouse and that no one was there that was not suppose to be there. Suddenly he heard screams coming from Josh Lyman's office. He ran to his office and pulled his gun out ready to fire if necessary. He opened the door and turned on the light and saw that it was Josh and he was having a nightmare. He knew that he had to wake him up, because he was still screaming. He tried waking Josh up but nothing was working. Finally Josh woke up and was pale and shaking.  
"Mr. Lyman are you alright," the security guard said. "Yes I am fine," Josh said and to prove it to the security guard he stood up. Suddenly Josh felt dizzy and collapsed on the floor. "The guard got his walkie talkie and said "I need help in Josh Lyman's office. It is an emergency so come really quick." Another security guard came and said, "what is wrong." "Josh Lyman collapsed on the floor and he needs to get to the emergency room right now." 


	3. A Hospital and a talk

Disclaimer: I do not own West Wing or any of the characters. They are owned by other people like NBC.

Summary Josh never got over the post traumatic stress disorder and is still suffering years later but no one knows. He now has been taken to the hospital by security.

The Hospital

They had gotten to GW and had called ahead to notify the hospital on what was going on. They got Josh into the hospital and rushed to figure out what was wrong with him. He did not look good at all, his pulse was very high and he was pale. They did some tests and figured out that it was exhaustion, but their still could be more to it then that. They put him in a hospital room to observe him for at least a night and see if anything else was wrong with him. Joshua Lyman was able to get something he had not gotten in a while, more then a couple hours of sleep.

The Next Morning Whitehouse Oval Office 10:10

The majority of the senior staff was gathered in the President's office, except the deputy chief of staff, Josh Lyman. They were going to talk about welfare again, since it was coming up in Congress again. "Does anyone know where Josh is," President Bartlet said getting slightly mad. "No sir, we have not seen him this morning. I looked in his office and he was not there. I also talked to Donna and she said that he had not come in," Toby said. "Did someone call him at home or his cell phone" Leo said. He was worried he knew Josh for a long time and knew that he would never intentionally miss a meeting, at least without calling first. "No, he is not answering his home or cell phone" CJ said. While the President was mad, they still continued the meeting without him

At Donna's desk 10:30

Donna was sitting at her desk and was worried that Josh had not come in yet. This was not like him at all. The phone finally rang and she hoped that is was Josh. "Donna" Josh almost screamed into the phone. "Josh are you alright, you better get down here fast or the President is going to fire you and both of us will loose our jobs. "I'm in the damn hospital and they will not let me out. Apparently I need someone to get me out before I can leave the hospital. That is where you come in. You are going to pick me up and then drive me back to work." "What happened are you o.k.," she said. "Yes I am fine, but I cannot spend another minute in this hospital, there is nothing to do." "Alright I'll come pick you up," Donna said.

Outside Oval Office 10:40

Donna hurried to the oval office she knew that she had to tell the President and the senior staff before she went to go get him. "Hey Charlie can I go in the oval office, I need to talk to the President really quick or someone." "He is in the office, with the other senior staff minus Josh and I do not think he is happy." "This is about Josh, apparently he is in the hospital." "Is he all right, did he tell you what is wrong," Charlie said. "No, but it will only take a second." He said that it would probably be all right if the secret service outside of the oval office agreed. She told them about it and they said that it was all right. She knocked on the door and someone said, "come in."

They turned to see who it was hoping that it was Josh, but when they looked they saw that it was Donna. "I know where Josh is, if that is going to be your question," Donna said. "This better be good, the only excuse that I could think of would him being in the hospital," the President said. "Actually sir, he is in the hospital and is pretty mad about it." "Is he alright" the President said immediately concerned. "I do not know he would not tell me. I am going to go get him in a few minutes. Should I bring him back here sir, because that is what he told me to do." "It depends on what it is but knowing Josh he will do anything in his power to come back to work" Leo said. They all hoped that he was alright and wanted to know what is wrong

Hospital 11:05

Josh was bored they had not let him out of this room. In fact they locked him into the room after all the screaming he did. A nurse came into the room and said that she needed to take his blood pressure before he left. "Do you know who I am, I am Josh Lyman, the Deputy Chief of Staff to the President of the United States. I am supposed to be at a important meeting and I am late." "Yes, we know that you are the Deputy Chief of Staff, one of the President's closest advisor's" the nurse said sarcastically. "Mr. Lyman your blood pressure is still a little high, but not as high as it was earlier this morning. You need to rest for a while and not do as many hours at the office."

A blond woman came to the nurse's desk saying that she was looking for Joshua Lyman. The nurse looked at her and said "room 223." She went to go find his room and finally found it. She heard a voice and immediately knew that it was Josh's room. She knocked on the door and came in. Josh and the nurse were arguing about something but she could not tell what it was. "Hey Josh, are you alright" she said. "Finally get me out of here, they have not let me out of this bed and said that I had to rest. I am apparently suffering from a severe case of exhaustion and high blood pressure. They thought that I was having a heart attack earlier but I was not. Get me out of here, I cannot stay here one minute longer." "I signed the paper, get your clothes on and we can get out of here." The nurse looked relieved that he was finally getting out of here.

He got dressed and they finally left the hospital. "Is that all it was exhaustion," Donna said concerned. "Yes, the doctor told me that I needed to actually get more then three hours of sleep a week and eat more then one meal a day. I personally think sleep is overrated and is not as important as some people think. Thanks for getting me out though, I am not sure if I could make it any longer in the hospital" he said. "The President wants to speak to you when we get back to the Whitehouse."

Oval Office 12:00

Josh went to the oval office and was about to knock on the door. "Hey Josh are you feeling any better" Charlie said. "I'm great, did Donna tell you that I was in the hospital to," Josh said. "Yes she did" Charlie said still concerned. He knocked on the door and the President said "come in." "Good afternoon sir, sorry I was not able to make it to the meeting. They would not let me out until someone came and got me," Josh said. "That is all right, are you alright though," President Bartlet said concerned. "Yes sir, apparently sleeping and eating are very important to someone's health," Josh said.

"How much sleep have you gotten recently Josh," he said. "I have gotten three hours this week, but I slept a few hours in the hospital. That gives me about eight hours, so I am good for the rest of the week and the beginning of next week," Josh said seriously. "You should try to get eight hours of sleep a night, not eight hours of sleep a week. How do you get through the day when you have not slept." "Lots of coffee and caffeine sir."

"One more question, how much do you eat a day, you have lost a lot of weight recently." "I eat about one meal a day, and maybe a snack later on. I am not that hungry, I am fine with just one meal a day. It interferes with my work if I eat more then that and I have to work." "You know I try to eat three meals a day. It is not healthy to skip that many meals. Before you go back to work why don't you go get something to eat." "Yes sir I will, may I go now." "Yes just remember to eat and sleep more then you have Josh" he said. After he left he said to his assistant "get Leo on the phone, I need to talk to him immediately."


	4. So We meet Again

Disclaimer: I do not own the West Wing or any of its characters. They belong to NBC.

Summary: Josh never got over the PTSD.

Info: The previous chapters are leading up to Stanley coming back to the Whitehouse. The rest of the story will be a little like the West Wing episode Noel. This will be a very short chapter.

Episode Info: The main episodes that this story is related to are In The Shadow of Two Gunmen I and II and Noel. Last season's finale never happened and no one is hurt. They are all in Washington.

Whitehouse Christmas Eve 2004

"So we meet again Josh How are you doing Josh" Stanley Keyworth said. "Fine, how are you doing" Josh said. "What happened to your hand Josh" Stanley said pointing to his hand. "Nothing" Josh said quickly. "Don't give me this bullshit Josh. We have done this dance before don't lie to me again. Remember Josh you are not talking to the paperboy" he said. "I know I am not talking to the paperboy but I am not lieing. I accidentally broke a glass that is it. Nothing more, nothing less. I am sorry you have to be here. I know that you would rather be with your family" Josh said quickly changing the subject.

"Josh has anything unusual happened in the last month" Stanley said. "No nothing unusual" Josh said. "Your friends are worried about you Josh," he said. "My friends are not worried about me. There is nothing wrong with me" Josh said angrily. In the background Josh heard screams. "There is nothing wrong with me" Josh said again. "I think that there is something wrong Josh. If you do not talk to me who will you talk to" Stanley said softly. "I don't know I just don't know anymore" Josh said.

Concluding Info: I know that this is short but it will get better I promise.


	5. concerned

Disclaimer: None of these characters or the show is mine. I am making no profit off of this. The characters I create though are mine.

Summary: Josh has not been his normal self lately and never got over the PTSD.

The Oval Office

Early December

Leo knocked on the door and the President said "come in." "Is everything alright Mr. President" Leo said. "Yes and no Leo. You know when someone I care about is in trouble I get concerned and I am very concerned about someone who I think of as a son." "Who is that Mr. President?" Leo had a pretty good idea but he did not want to admit it because then it could be true.

"I am worried about Josh; he has not been acting like himself lately. Do you know why he was in the hospital Leo?" "No sir" Leo said. Josh was in the hospital because he collapsed from exhaustion, and he has not been sleeping or eating a lot because apparently it interrupts work and it is not that important. He said that he had only gotten three hours of sleep this week and said he now has eight hours of sleep because of the hospital so he is good for the rest of this week and half of next week. He only eats one meal a day Leo and maybe a snack. That is not healthy Leo, he needs help before he spirals out of control or-" he did not even want to think about that. He wouldn't put his hand through a window or kill himself. Josh wouldn't do that, he couldn't do it. "Well sir, we have a meeting in a few minutes, lets see how he acts then and maybe we will send him home for awhile. He knew what the president was thinking and did not want to think about that either.

CJ, Toby, and Will came in followed a minute later by Josh. "Good afternoon Mr. President they all said at once and then sat down. "I seriously doubt that this bill will pass, the republicans will never go for it because taxes might have to be raised and the republicans would rather put us in a deficit then raise taxes" Toby said. "The press has been asking me about this but I have not given them any information about it because I do not want to say anything wrong" CJ said.

"Josh what do you think about this" President Bartlet said. Josh had been there physically but mentally he was not there. All Josh heard was sirens and gunshots around him; he did not hear President Bartlet call his name. "Josh," the president said, finally getting his attention. "Yes sir, sorry what were we talking about again, wasn't it welfare, I just spaced out for a minute" Josh said. "We have been talking about welfare for the last ten minutes Josh, why weren't you paying attention," Will said. "I guess I'm a little more tired then I thought, maybe I should go home around 10:00 tonight, maybe get more then three hours of sleep like you suggested sir" Josh said. "Why don't you go home right now, Donna will drive you home and you can get rest" "but sir I am fine," Josh said. "Go home Josh, that is an order. Everyone is dismissed" the President said.

Josh's Office

"Are you ready to go home Josh" Donna said. "I'm fine, I can just work for about one more hour" Josh said. "The president ordered you to go home and I am driving you home, no buts Joshua and don't think about bringing any work" Donna said. "Fine" Josh said annoyed.


End file.
